Question title that doesn't describe the problem

Question

Pre Edit 4:

Pointing out that thread's popularity is a direct result of programming community interest in said subject, and that someone likely stands to become rich and/or famous by solving the problem none of the answers, save my own, came even close to resolving.

Long salutation describing my programming experience and implying that I am a programming genius even though I was educated as a philosopher. Ill-fitting analogy explaining that philosophers make better programmers than classically trained programmers.

Meandering post describing a minor issue and suggesting a poor/incomplete solution while also inferring that those who disagree are blatant rep whores.

Edit:

Major edit that changes the whole point of the question, nullifying any existing answers, and openly marveling at inability of others to understand this trivial but super-important request.

Edit 2:

Response to detracters, repeating what I already said in the comments.

Edit 3:

Reluctant acquiescence to community, asserting that community is still wrong but accepting that it cannot help me any further, and I'm leaving unsatisfied. Pointed comments directed towards specific users or answers publicly belittling them. Thanks to those who obviously understand the issue even though their solutions were grossly inadequate, calling into question their schooling and ancestry.

Complimentary closing,
Signature

_{P.S. ^{Suggestion that people study My favorite Programming Book before answering such advanced questions as these on SO.}}

Answer 1

Answer that points out that your Architecture is obviously wrong and questioning why on earth you are still using this stupid technology when your problem could be solved by one line of jQuery code.

$.butterfly({
    aLongList: ofParameters,
    whichAre: notExplained
});

Answer 2

A nicely worded, but pretty useless answer, which mainly gets its upvotes due to extensive use of Markdown formatting and by linking a lot of stuff, both related and unrelated to the problem in question.

Useless title to draw more attention

A lot of basic information about the questioner's problem. Mostly, it repeats what everyone who is familiar with the tags of the question already knows, but in more exuberant manner, providing the basic information at least twice. It also contains scarce code inclusions to look programming-related. The post also contains a few formatting tricks, including:

• Unnumbered lists, with item captions in bold. Items of such list should contain a lot of text, so those who reads the question will be sure, that the user is an expert in his area, and has analyzed a lot of alternatives.
• Numbered lists, which, of course, may be omitted, since users do not like numbers
• Links, both related and unrelated. At least one link to the blog of the user.
• A piece of code in the language requested by OP, the piece being originally written in other language by a lowly voted answer.

The post has at least two sections to justify the use of big font, which is used just to make the post look bigger.

Another useless title

In the second section of such a post code snippets are posted. The algorithm was not originally written by the author. But he rewrote it in C#, and since most users know C#, it would be easier for them to upvote a post that contains the language they are familiar with.

public class Hello
{
   public static void Main()
   {
      System.Console.WriteLine("Hello, World!");
   }
}

Of course, this code, having been written quickly while the post is still under attention, contains a number of issues that were thankfully discussed on SO before. The users links the other stackoverflow question, and one more, just in case, so that others upvote him for his effort.

And of course, a hesitating expression of hope that this post helps, knowing that what it helps is only his own reputation counter.

Answer 3

I have same problem any update?

Answer 4

Quick yet canned answer developed in my mind from reading the tags and 2 words of the title of your post.

Edit:

More offtopic and irrelevant vague things in response to @Pollyanna's comment

Answer 5

Yes.

Answer 6

Answer Posted After An Answer is Already Accepted With Superfluous Formatting

---

Introductory statement about familiarity with the problem. Short background on experience in the field of study related to the question.

Anecdotal short story about how post was just noticed today because generic personal life event has prevented poster from participating in discussions! Statement of confidence that others can relate.

Section about how if extenuating circumstances had not interfered, I would have posted almost the exact same answer. Short response stating that the accepted answer is extremely valuable. Multiple praises of accepted answer. Transition to enumerated list of reasons why accepted answer is great:

• Praise of accepted answer's formatting clearly being emulated in this answer
• Acknowledgment of skills and knowledge of the author of accepted answer
• Statement about brevity and conciseness

Long winded response about what accepted answer would look like if extenuating circumstances had not interfered. Subtle yet sharp jabs at author of accepted answer inferring that my answer would have been better

EDIT:

Pre-emptive edit in response to expected comments regarding freehand circles, waffles, or ponies

---

Image stressing points mentioned above further http://i39.tinypic.com/2wm1lds.jpg

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• Additional link future readers of question may find valuable that accepted answer did not contain

Answer 7

Dismissive reply by megapoint user.

Statement of annoyance about having to explain himself by way of this update. Introduction to some ASCII art that elucidates nothing about the problem but does reveal why you ought to upvote him.

-----------------------------------
|                ___      _______/|
|           ____/   \    /        |
|          /         \  /         |
|         /           \/          |
|        /              *         |
|   /\  /                         |
|  /  \/                          |
| /    *                          |
|/                                |
-----------------------------------
my knowledge
* note that downturns and plateaus were result of listening to other people

---

-----------------------------------
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|                                 |
|  _______________________________|
| / *                             |
|/                                |
-----------------------------------
your knowledge 
* note that uptick is from one of my previous answers

Answer 8

Answer that nearly copies an upvoted answer, with a few clarifying comments, in hopes of getting some cheap upvotes.

Answer 9

Pile-on answer that adds nothing new, posted in the hopes that hanging onto the coattails of what looks like a high-vote question will score some cheap points.

Answer 10

Answers own problem with the same solution already in the question. Dismisses other answers out of hand as "unworkable" and "overly simplistic."

Reiterates ideal solution again while challenging others to prove otherwise with real data, while providing no proof of this perspective.

Answer 11

Late arriving answer seemingly ignored by everyone.

Answer 12

Answer of poor inglish is formed and explanations running in intersection directions of longitude but rainfalls in code perfectwise question answering:

public class Hello {
    public static void Main() {
       System.Console.WriteLine("Hello, World!");}
}

Answer 13

☹

An obligatory non-answer answer that was only posted so that maybe some random passerby will understand why I cannot earn any meta rep and vote this answer up.

Update:

☻

after reading the well reasoned arguments you outlined in comments.

Answer 14

A thinly veiled lmgtfy link that gets the OP to memorable quotes from Pulp Fiction.

Answer 15

Gratuitous reply to fulfill need for camaraderie. Inserting random humor with only tangential relevance to the original question.

Feigning humor failing. Must insert superfluous comic:

alt text http://www.emailexpressdirect.com/worst%2Demail%2Dnewsletter%2Dmistakes/images/img-spam.jpg

Answer 16

Vague gratitude expressed to the OP because I have the same problem. Except on a different system, with different commands involved. But perhaps you can solve my problem too?

Answer 17

Snarky non-answer that should have been a comment.

Answer 18

Answer that addresses only the title and ignore the content of the post, poster didn't even read the other answers.

(Example: Try jQuery)

Answer 19

Answer deliberately close to but not quite correct, designed to get the occasional downvote to be canceled by the occasional sympathy upvote, with the intention of picking up some easy rep.

Answer 20

Answer that disagrees but doesn't actually provide any evidence as to why the suggestion made but the OP is wrong, trying to get the upvotes from the people that disagree with it but doesn't want to downvote the question to avoid the loss of a reputation point.

• Invented reason the system works good as it is 1
• Invented reason the system works good as it is 2

Answer 21

Quick answer posted just before voting to close the answer.

Answer 22

Late answer indicating that the existing highly upvoted answers, including the accepted answer, are now wrong due to recent patches for the program or a new major release of the language.

Completely correct example showing that it is now trivial to achieve what the OP wants by doing

foo.newlyAvailableFeature("and/or", >syntax<);

---

Edit added the next day wondering why the asker hasn't changed the accepted checkmark to this answer and why nobody is upvoting.

---

Edit 2 added a few days later griping about how terrible it is that the community doesn't care about old questions.

Answer 23

Especially badly written, or wrong answer with the sole purpose of gathering 3 downvotes, so I can delete this answer again and harvest myself a nice and shiny [Peer Pressure] badge.

_{Of course made CW so I won't lose any of those precious internet dollar points in the process.}

Answer 24

Edit which completely changes the meaning, wording, and essence of the post due to its prior poor grammar and spelling.

Answer 25

Extremely late answer that ignores everything already written and makes a duplicate joke because the question's so popular

Also hoping for a [Necromancer] badge...

Answer 26

Hello sir, thanks for the excelent q. Having same prob here, plz can ne1 help? Mail me teh codez to [email protected] Thank you and God bless

Answer 27

Answer that steals the previous answer idea, hoping to be slightly better in order to steal the auto-award of the bounty (or failing that, then at least some extra upvotes from the attention the bounty draws).

Answer 28

http://www.unexplained-link.com/with-no-other-context

Answer 29

Six to eight weeks.

Answer 30

Unexplainably late reply with poor spelind and grammer by low-rep user that includes a suspicious spammy-looking but still ambiguous link to something that might actually solve the problem, if only the web page didn't make your eyes bleed and head explode from looking at it because the background is yellow and the site uses frames and looks like it might be a direct word-for-word translation from the original Chinese.

Unnecessary closing greeting,
Vaguely foreign-sounding first name